


Nudge

by TalesOfOnyxBats



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Dogs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Recovery, Service Dogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24279544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalesOfOnyxBats/pseuds/TalesOfOnyxBats
Summary: Zuko gets Azula a therapy dog to help her cope with and recover from a battle with depression.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 127





	Nudge

Azula whimpers softly to herself. She is surprised that she still has it in her to even do that. She lies in bed. For how long she has been there, she isn’t quite sure anymore. The days have begun to blend but she can’t bring herself to get up. She knows that she should. She wants to, but she just doesn’t have it in her. 

The energy had left her a long time ago.

And the motivation had left before that. 

When all of her accomplishments had fallen down around, shattered and rendered fruitless and when her goals had diminished with them, she began finding it hard to get up. If everything she does only crumbles away, then why should she do anything at all? 

She doesn’t have anyone to do anything for either. 

She certainly doesn’t want to do anything for herself. 

So she lies on her side, mostly motionless and staring at the arm she has outstretched in front of her. She should bathe or, at the very simplest, eat. Lately she hasn’t been able to muster up the willpower to do that either. 

Azula takes a very deep breath and sits up. For a fleeting moment she thinks that she is going to leave the bed. She urges herself to do so, there are so many things that she needs to do; fix herself a meal, eat it, fix herself a bath, undress herself, actually take her bath, dress herself....

And those are only the little things. She also has to make something of herself again; maybe she can attend one of the council meetings Zuko has invited her to or she can rekindle her friendships or try to make new ones…

There is just so much to do. Her head begins to spin thinking about all of her options. It spins and whirs until her burst of energy dies away and suddenly she wants to do none of them again. When she comes back to herself she realizes that she has simply been staring at the back of her hands. 

She thinks that she has been doing so for hours. She rubs her hands over her face, wondering what the hell is wrong with her? She doesn’t know what sort of person can lose so much time doing something so stupid. 

She lets her body drop back onto the mattress and bunches herself up. She tries not to weep again, but she can’t keep herself from it. She feels so useless and so foolish. 

She feels like there isn’t really a reason for her to be...around anymore. She lets her body flop back onto the mattress and presses her head into the pillow. 

**.oOo.**

Another day slips by. She still hasn’t brought herself to move and her stomach is pleading for food. She longs for it just as furiously, but if she can’t even walk down the hall, how is she supposed to cook? 

The servants have stopped doing it for her after weeks of her letting it go to waste. She doesn’t have the strength to ask them to resume again. 

A knock at her door causes her to jolt. 

Zuko doesn’t wait for her to answer. “I have a surprise for you!” He declares, much too joyfully for her tastes. He wanders over to her window and draws the curtains. A beam of sunlight falls directly upon her. 

She rolls onto her side with a dissatisfied groan.

“You don’t have to get up. This surprise will come to you.” She can hear the smile in his voice. 

The foot of her bed dips as something launches itself at her. Despite the warning Zuko had given, she gives a small start. She feels a snout nudge against her neck. Azula forces herself upright. The dog is so large that it is level with her face. It nudges her cheek with its nose. It sits there staring at her with its tail wagging wildly. 

She must admit that it is a pretty dog; sleek and black with deep brown and loving eyes. Its tail is long and slim and its ears are short and floppy. She notices a patch of white on its chest and paws. 

Azula hesitantly reaches out, pausing halfway.

“Go on,” Zuko coaxes. “He’s really friendly and he’s been specially trained to help you.”

Azula bites her lower lip as she carefully strokes the dog’s dark fur. He leans into her, his head resting against the crook of her neck.There is a warm flutter in her chest. It is the first time that anything has managed to cut through her prolonged numbness. Even if it is a very faint feeling. The dog’s tail begins to wag more intensely; it is her only warning before he gives her cheek a rather wet lick. 

Her face bunches up and she rubs at her moist cheek with the back of her sleeve. “No stop it!” She shouts as the dog continues its merciless licking. She thinks that she might have smiled, at least for a flicker. She repeats her demand and the dog relents.

He drops back down and rests his head in her lap, awaiting more pets. 

She runs her hand over his head.

“Well, do you like him?” Zuko grins.

“Why?” She asks.

“I know that you were getting lonely, I figured that we can start with animals before people.” Zuko explains. “Your doctors mentioned that they’ve noticed that patients with pets tend to recover easier than patients without.” As if he knows that he is being talked about, he sits back up and perks his ears. “Kaiyuki is the first dog that they’ve trained to help with the recovery process.” 

Azula eyes the dog. His tongue lolls out as he pants happily. 

“So, do you want to give him a try?”

He leans into her again and this time she puts an arm around him. She must admit that this is the most activity she has done in a very long while. She nods. 

Zuko’s smile widens. “Great. I can help you take care of him if that’s too much right now.” 

Azula thinks it over. “Okay.” 

“He likes walks.” Zuko tries. “If you feel like it, I can have the servants cook breakfast while you take him on one.”

She could use the fresh air…

Kaiyuki yips happily. Azula stays in place for a while, trying to muster up the energy to move. The dog is patient, he only springs off of the bed when she finally brings herself to swing her feet over the edge of it. 

Her legs are stiff from having laid down for such a long time. “Where is his leash?”

“He doesn’t need one.” Zuko answers. “He’ll walk right by you.” 

The sentiment is nice. Evidently, she likes the idea of having a companion next to her that can help her sniff out threats and take them down if she can’t manage it. She lets her hand rest on Kaiyuki’s back as they slowly make their way out of her bedroom. 

**.oOo.**

It is quite a beautiful day out. Really, it is the perfect day to re-enter the world. The sun caresses her skin like a familiar and long forgotten friend. Its rays welcome her back to the outdoors. She inhales deeply. Dragon maple, marigold, and a pungent hint of paprika fills her lungs. The air is so clean, it makes her lungs feel healthy. It makes her feel healthy overall. 

She watches Kaiyuki leap up and down, bouncing all around her in excited circles. She wishes that she can achieve that level of enthusiasm. One level at a time, she reminds herself. She buries her hands in the excess fabric of her robes, it is only then that she recalls that she still hasn’t gotten dressed. 

Her face colors. Though no one has made any remarks regarding her haggard appearance.

Azula slowly treks the carefully paved garden path until she reaches the turtle-duck pond. She wants to sit down but, all the same, fears that if she does, she won’t be able to force herself to stand again. So she remains on her feet and observes Kaiyuki dipping his neck to take a drink. He laps at the water and then paws at her feet. 

She thinks that, that might be her cue to move. 

She lets him lead the way and tags along as he takes her under an arbor of firelily. Everything is so bright and vivid. So lively. 

She passes one of her serving girls. The girl dips her head, “it’s good to see you out and about again, princess.”

“Yeah.” Azula replies. 

The girl bows again and carries on with her task. 

Azula finds herself a seat on one of the stone benches beneath a dragon maple. Kaiyuki leaps up and sits on her lap. She strokes his fur until Zuko hands her a bowl of noodle soup and fruit tart topped with rose petals. 

Her stomach rumbles softly, at the prospect of a much needed meal. She takes a spoonful of soup and savors the way it warms her throat and belly. 

“Feeling any better?”

She holds her hand up with her pointer and thumb spaced slightly apart. “A little, I suppose.” That is a bit of a fib. In just over an hour she has felt a spark of motivation, a dash of hope, and a touch of embarrassment. It is the most that she has felt in ages, much more than she had expected to feel again. Just having felt something again lifts her mood even if some of the emotions weren’t wholly positive. 

She takes a bite of her fruit tart, the flavor is rich and succulent, like a silk on her tongue. The warmth and texture suggests that it is freshly baked. She has another spoonful of soup. “It’s good. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

She holds out what is left of her noodles for Kaiyuki to lap at. 

“You’re going to spoil this dog, aren’t you?” Zuko laughs. 

“Possibly.” She replies. 

The dog looks up at her with cheerful eyes. 

**.oOo.**

The first week is the hardest. Getting up in the morning is such a task and it takes very much prodding from Kaiyuki. In only those few days he already seems to know her so well. He knows when tough love is required and when he just needs to lay with her. For the first few days, he has to nudge her awake, poke and prod at her until she can no longer sleep. She is thankful for it; she doesn’t feel so lazy and useless when she is up and about. 

Gradually, Azula requires less pestering to leave her bed. She finds that she is able to muster the drive to do it herself. She has Kaiyuki to feed and walk. It is a small purpose in life, but a purpose no less. 

Someone needs her.

Someone thinks that she has value. 

Even if he can’t vocalize it. 

He doesn’t need to, the way his tail thrashes about when she hands him his food dish and water bowl or when she tells him to go fetch. Just making eye contact with him, brings his tail to life. She just wishes that everyone would be that happy to see her. 

It takes her a very long time, at least by her standards, to resume her firebending regime. Three months exactly. Like most things, it is a process. For the first month, exercise comes in the form of a leisurely walk with Kaiyuki around the palace gardens. 

They help her, perhaps, more than she is aware. Servants and guards wave to her, surprisingly kind and lacking judgment. She supposes that it is because, despite all of her wrong doings, she has treated them well. Compared to her father’s treatment of them, she was an absolute delight to be around. 

As they get used to seeing her around again, they occasionally stop to ask her if she is doing well or if they can get her anything. She doesn’t know any of them particularly well, but it is nice to talk to people again. 

By month two her languid strolls become jogs and runs. Kaiyuki can use the excitement and she needs to get herself back in shape for her more strenuous firebending routines. It is frustrating, at first, to find herself tiring out so quickly, but Kaiyuki is a distraction from that. 

It is in the middle of month three that she decides it is time to get back to firebending. It takes more mental preparation than she likes to admit. She prepares herself for dreadful disappointment and painful frustration. But once she has a routine going, it sticks. 

And for it, Azula finds that she feels much better about herself. Even though she isn’t yet on par with her old self, she feels surprisingly good. 

When her mood lifts high enough, she finds herself teaching Kaiyuki to jump through flaming hoops and over flaming beams. She teaches him to strike and attack when she makes certain gestures. 

It is easier to train when she isn’t alone. It is easier to train when Kaiyuki picks up on her frustration and pounces on her, licking reassuringly at her face. It is easier to train when Kaiyuki fetches her a waterskin and reminds her to drink it. 

It is easier in general, with Kaiyuki around. 

. **oOo** .

“He’s just so fluffy!” TyLee exclaims as she wraps her arms around Kaiyuki. 

“He’s helpful too.” Azula replies. 

It is the first time she has spoken to TyLee in ages. This time TyLee doesn’t look at her with fear nor loathing. 

“What does he help with?” TyLee asks. 

“He’s a therapy dog.” She replies. “It really depends. Sometimes he does little things like fetching me water while I train. Other times he’ll bring me my medications or…” she hesitates “He’ll encourage me to get out of bed. If he can’t help me then he usually gets Zuzu for me.” 

TyLee’s expression dims. Azula has forgotten that she didn’t yet know just how bad things had gotten for her. 

“Are you okay?” 

Azula runs her hand over Kaiyuki’s fur. “I’m doing much better.” 

TyLee smiles again. “That’s good.”

“Thank you.” She takes a seat upon her favorite bench and pats the spot next to her. TyLee fills it and Kaiyuki leaps up and finds a place on her lap. “How has it been with the Kyoshi Warriors?”

“Oh, it has been amazing!” TyLee gushes. “I’m learning so many things and going to so many new places…”

Azula’s tummy tingles; and what has she been doing? She has been making progress, sure. But she isn’t accomplishing anything at all. She is still nothing compared to who she used to be. She stares at her palms as TyLee continues her cheerful chatter. Kaiyuki pokes his snout at her chin. 

TyLee brings her story to a halt. “Are you still okay?”

Azula clears her throat. “Yes. Sorry, I do that sometimes...Kaiyuki has to...uh...pull me out of it.” 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just thinking again...” She trails off.

“About?”

“Zuko is the Fire Lord, you’re a Kyoshi Warrior traveling the world, Aang is the Avatar, his friends constantly do incredible things, Mai is the Fire Lady. And me? What am I doing?” She inquires, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Recovering.” Zuko’s voice answers from behind. He huffs as he sets down a crate. 

_ Recovering _ .

That just isn’t good enough for her anymore. 

She wants to do something again. To matter again. 

She swallows and says as much. 

“You do matter.” TyLee says softly. “You definitely matter to…”

“Kaiyuki.” Azula fills in. She slings an arm around him. “Do I matter to you?” Last she checked, TyLee was still fuming. She knows that Mai is. 

TyLee nods. “You matter to me. We’re going to have a lot to talk about when you’re in a better place. But you matter to me.”

“I think Mai kind of misses talking with you too.”

“Lies are supposed to be believable, Zuzu.”

“It’s not a lie.” Zuko shrugs. “We can be angry with you and still care about you.” 

Azula swallows and her stomach lolls again. She has never had that before. She can only manage a little nod. “That doesn’t change that I haven’t accomplished anything.”

“That’s not true, you…”

Azula cuts him off, “everything important that I’ve done is null. And none of those things were good anyhow.” She falters. “Everyone around me has done something unforgettable and I haven’t. I’ve fallen so behind.” Her grip on Kaiyuki tightens and he burrows himself against her. “I’ll never catch up.” She adds more to herself. 

“Actually, I think that I have something for you to do.” Zuko’s lips curve up.

Her brows furrow and she looks up.

“You’ve trained and taken care of Kaiyuki. Do you think that you can do the same for a baby dragon or two?” 

“I thought that…”

“Nope, Aang and I found two dragons. We’re hoping to bring the dragon population back. But Aang has Avatar stuff to do and I have Fire Lord duties.” He pauses. “Unless you have something that you’re not telling me about, I think that you have time to help with our dragon goals.” 

Azula smiles. “I think that I can do that.” 

“Wonderful.” Zuko grins. He motions to the crate. “Happy birthday.”

Azula’s belly flutters again. She’d forgotten her own birthday. She pries the lid off of the crate. 

“When it hatches, Kaiyuki can help you keep the baby in line.” 

Azula laughs for the first time in ages. “If he can keep me in line, then he’ll have no problem with a dragon.” 

“You’ll let me pet the dragon when it hatches, right!?” TyLee asks. 

Azula nods again, this time with more enthusiasm. For the first time since her defeat, she feels hopeful--optimistic even. 

“Thank you, Zuzu.” 

**.oOo.**

Azula tucks herself in and waits for Kaiyuki to curl himself up next to her. She holds him close. She kisses him atop his furry little head. He means the world to her, truly. She can’t imagine that she would be doing quite as well if Zuko hadn’t found him for her. It has only been a little under a year and she has made much more progress than she had in all of her years in that institution. Maybe she will be able to talk to her mother soon. 

She sleeps easier knowing that she will wake up to Kaiyuki. 

She sleeps easier knowing that she will wake up to rekindling relationships.

She sleeps easier knowing that she will wake up to a newfound purpose. 

She closes her eyes and nuzzles her chin against Kaiyuki’s head. 

And when she wakes the next morning, she feels reinvigorated. 

For once, Azula doesn’t want to go to stay in bed. 

For once, she again rises with the sun. 


End file.
